Connect.
Start a real conversation. No ask.
WHY IT USUALLY FAILS
There are no leaky pipelines. There are only un-invited prospects.
Most people do not have a lead problem.
They find fifteen interested people, and quietly decide none of them are ready.
No one gets asked. The month ends. They blame the content.
So they go make more content, which is the one thing that was already fine.
The leak is almost never your content. It is the ask you never made.
BEFORE YOU SEND ANYTHING
The thing stopping you is not the writing.
Most people freeze on message one because they are already thinking about the sale.
The sale is three steps away. It is not in this message. It is not even in this week.
"Your real intention is not to get a client. Your real intention is to add value to people first. Because the more you think about the sale from the very beginning, the more anxious you might be."
Change the job of the message, and the fear goes with it.
THE FRAME
Every DM you send is one move. Only one.
Qualify.
Find out what they actually want.
Invite.
Offer one clear next step.
CONNECT → QUALIFY → INVITE
Pick one job per message.
Trying to reconnect, qualify and pitch in the same message is why people go quiet on you.
Five kinds of message. Three jobs. One job each.
ONE · CONNECT
Send them something that actually helps. That is the whole move.
No ask. No hook. No link to your own thing every single time.
You saw something useful, you thought of them, you sent it.
My own line
"If it's not useful, it hurts you. So only send what fits."
WHEN TO USE IT:
Someone warm has gone quiet, and you have something they would actually open.
SCRIPT (a real one I sent):
Hey [Name]! Super random, but I recently attended Mel & Bryan's Market Leaders workshop awhile back and thought this notes could be useful for you:
[link]
Enjoy!! And hope all has been well too haha
GUARDRAILS
- Short reason, then a colon, then the link.
- The link goes on its own line.
- The warm close goes after the link, never before.
- (KEY) Share other people's stuff too, not only your own.
- Never tell them how long it takes to read.
FINISHED EXAMPLE: the script above is the finished example. It went out exactly like that.
Takeaway:
If you only ever send your own things, you are not sharing. You are promoting.
On this exact message: "This actually got me clients. Without a sales call." That is his own memory of it, not a tracked number. Take it as a story, not a promise.
TWO · CONNECT INTO QUALIFY
Get a small yes before you ask for a big one.
Do not send the thing. Offer the thing.
The reply is the point. A person who typed yes will open it. A person who was handed it will not.
"It needs to scream potential value, but you do not give the value in the first message."
WHEN TO USE IT:
You have a guide, a checklist or a short training, and a list of people it fits.
SCRIPT (the four message ladder):
Hey [Name]! I made a short guide I go through with my own clients before they commit
Want me to send it over? Just reply yes :)
(2 days later) Hey [Name]! Not sure if you saw my last message haha
I know you're probably busy, which is honestly why I made it
Still happy to send it over if useful! All good if not too :)
(4 days later) Hey [Name]! Last time I'll bother you on this haha
Guide's still here if you want it, otherwise I'll leave you to it & you can always message me down the road!
(on yes) Here you go [Name]! [guide]
The bit most people skip is on page X, so don't miss that one
I also have a second one on [topic]. Want that too? :)
GUARDRAILS
- Three follow-ups, then stop.
- Close the file warmly. Do not vanish.
- Message four carries a second offer. That is the point.
- Never say the words "just following up".
Message four is the one doing the work. The second offer earns a second yes.
Now you are in a conversation instead of a delivery.
Takeaway:
If they type yes, they open it. If you just send it, they delete it. Same guide.
Step 2b. They said yes. Now what? · TWO AND A HALF · THE PART EVERYONE SKIPS
Sending the guide is not the win. It is the start.
Most people send the thing and go quiet. That is a delivery, not a conversation.
Three messages turn it into one. Hand it over, ask one easy question, then point them somewhere based on what they say.
MESSAGE 1. Hand it over, and open a second door
Here you go [Name]! [guide] The bit most people skip is on page [X], so don't miss that one I also have a second one on [topic]. Want that too? :)
The second offer is the one doing the work. It earns a second yes, so you stay in a conversation instead of finishing a delivery.
- Name one specific page or section. It proves you know your own thing.
- The second offer must actually exist.
- One second offer, not a menu.
MESSAGE 2. The A, B or C question
This is the most useful message in the whole sequence. Send it once they tell you the guide arrived.
Concrete choices beat open questions here. Asking someone what is holding them back makes them stop and think. Asking them to reply A, B or C takes two seconds on a phone.
Hey [Name]! Glad the guide reached you :) Spent [time] pulling that together from [what you did], covers both the inside and outside stuff because most people need both Quick question so I can point you to the right next thing Where are you at right now? Most people I chat with are in one of these spots: A) [Making money but it's scattered] B) [Doing okay but stuck, can't see what's blocking it] C) [Still early, figuring things out] Which one's closest? Just reply A, B or C, or say it in your own words if none fit!
- Three options, never five. Five is a survey.
- Write the options in their words, not yours.
- Always leave the "or say it your own way" door open.
MESSAGE 3. If they go quiet, two nudges then stop
Hey [Name]! Bumping this up in case it got buried haha A, B or C? Takes 2 seconds & helps me point you to the right thing :)
Hey [Name]! Last one on this from me Even if you're just watching for now, would love to know where you're at. That one question has helped a lot of folks get clear just by sitting with it If now's not the right time, all good, just let me know & I'll close this off on my end :)
Two nudges. Then close the loop warmly and leave it. Closing the loop often gets the reply.
THEN: point them somewhere based on the letter
You are not sending the same thing to all three. That is the whole reason you asked.
They said A
Making money, but it is scattered.
Highest urgency. Name the thing you both know is broken, then invite them to the call.
They said B
Doing okay, but stuck and cannot see the block.
Tell them this is common. Their problem is not more tactics, it is not being able to see themselves clearly. Then invite.
They said C
Still early, just looking.
Do not push. Tell them the guide is plenty for now, and leave the door open for later.
Got it, thanks for sharing! Honestly this is the exact spot I was in [when]. [One line about what actually fixed it] Here's what I'd love to do. I run a [name of your call], [length] where I help you: [Diagnose the thing that is actually blocking them] [Map your 1 to 2 biggest moves for the next 30 to 60 days] [Walk away clear, whether we work together or not] [Your own real client result here] [Your own second real client result here] Want to grab a slot? [link] Let me know once you've booked so I can confirm on my end :)
All good, most people start here! Honestly the guide alone will give you plenty to work with for now If you ever want to go deeper, I run a [name of your call] where I help you map where you're at & what's actually possible No rush at all. It's here whenever you want it :)
- Use your own real client results. Never borrow someone else's.
- Never write "no pitch" or "no pressure". Saying it out loud creates the thing you are denying.
- One link. One ask.
A yes to the guide is a small yes. The letter is the second one. The call is the third. Nobody jumps straight to the third.
THREE · INVITE
Tease first. Details second. Never the link straight away.
Two yeses, not one.
The first yes is tiny, so almost nobody says no to it. The second yes is the real one, and by then they asked for it.
"When I say would you like some details, it's a smaller yes than would you like to attend, you realise?"
WHEN TO USE IT:
You have something real to invite them to, and they are warm.
SCRIPT, message one:
Hey [Name]! Hope all has been well man!!
Anyway, after [time period] of work, I finally published my step-by-step guide to [topic] and thought you might be interested!
I share about [2 to 3 attractive benefits]
Would you be interested to access it? All good if you aren't! :)
SCRIPT, message two, only after they say yes:
(on yes) Great!! Here's the link to access the guide:
[link]
Can you access it? :)
GUARDRAILS
- Never send the link in message one.
- Name two or three real benefits, not a topic.
- Always give an easy out.
- Ask if they can access it. It reopens the chat.
Takeaway:
Make the first yes as small as you possibly can.
FOUR · CONNECT
The first message after long silence has no question in it.
A question in message one reads as "what does he want from me".
The guard goes up before the warmth lands.
So message one gives, and asks for nothing. Their reply is your opening.
WHEN TO USE IT:
Past clients and old contacts you have not spoken to in a year or more.
SCRIPT, message one:
Hey [Name]! Just wanted to share a note of gratitude for your trust & support with MI & me years back hahah
Trust everything's been going great for you lately, and I know while not everything might be 100% smooth all the time as that's life, as long as you keep the faith & keep taking action, you got this :)
Take care yes!! Sending you lots of love & joy today
SCRIPT, message two, only after they reply:
(only after they reply) Anyway what you been focused on these days? Always curious where you're channeling your energy now haha 💙
GUARDRAILS
- No question in message one. None.
- Do not name the old product they bought.
- Keep the "not everything is 100% smooth" line. It stops it sounding fake.
- Message two asks what, never "you good?".
FINISHED EXAMPLE: both scripts above are the finished versions. Only the name changes.
Takeaway:
Message one is pure give. The question is message two, after they answer on their own.
FIVE · QUALIFY
Second Positioning. Write it from their side, then score it.
Most bad DMs are not badly written. They are written from the wrong chair.
So before you type, move seats.
Change your state.
Walk, breathe, move rooms. Break the pattern.
Step into their shoes.
What are they worried about this week?
Name their motivators.
Three to five things they actually want.
Name their concerns.
Three to five reasons they would say no.
Rewrite it
with all of that in front of you.
CHANGE YOUR STATE → STEP INTO THEIR SHOES → NAME THEIR MOTIVATORS → NAME THEIR CONCERNS → REWRITE
Then ask yourself: if I were them, nought to ten, how likely am I to reply?
"If you score it 0 to 10, if it's not at least an 8, you want to rewrite it."
Under eight, go round again.
WHEN TO USE IT:
Any message you are nervous about. Also any message that keeps getting ignored.
SCRIPT (a real one, with no ask in it at all):
Hey, random but thought you might find this super useful! haha
In short, while prepping to be a new dad, I took a looong time to create the Busy Season Playbook, aka everything I'm doing to grow my business & stay focused during this crazy season:
[link]
If it's not your thing, no worries at all, just wanted to share either way!
Have an amazing week ahead :)
GUARDRAILS
- Write the motivators and concerns down. Do not do it in your head.
- Score it as them, not as you.
- Under eight means rewrite, not send anyway.
- If you cannot name one concern, you do not know them yet.
Takeaway:
When a DM is not landing, it is almost always because you wrote it from your side, not theirs.
THE REPLY
Acknowledge. Insight. Ask one question.
Three short bubbles, not one block. Use it on every single reply.
Acknowledge.
Say back what they said, like a person.
Insight.
One line of your own story. That is the rapport.
Ask.
One question that moves forward, with a reason attached.
SCRIPT:
You're welcome! This should be really useful, especially if you're building a side hustle right now
Honestly it was only after I got serious about my own mindset that I had the guts to start. A lot of my clients were stuck on the same thing
So btw right, are you thinking of starting your own thing too? Can send you some personalised resources if you are! :)
GUARDRAILS
- Always give a reason for the question.
- One question. Never two.
- Open questions only. Never "you good?".
- Answer an objection once, twice at most.
- Then point them at your content and step back.
The reason sounds like this: "I'm asking because I feel this could be useful for you."
FINISHED EXAMPLE: the script above is the finished example.
THE 8 OUT OF 10 TEST
Three signals tell you they are ready.
How long are their replies getting?
What is the quality of those replies?
(KEY) Do you honestly believe you can help them?
On the second one
"It's like dating. If they reply you one or two words, you think they're going to say yes to the date?"
When those three add up to eight out of ten confidence, ask.
Not before, and not on a hunch.
GUARDRAILS
- Do not persuade. Your content does that.
- The message is for connection, not for closing.
- If it is a six, keep talking. Nothing is lost.
THE RHYTHM
Warmest names first. Always.
PENDING INVITES
FRESH REPLIES
RE-OPENERS
NEW LEADS
PENDING INVITES → FRESH REPLIES → RE-OPENERS → NEW LEADS
Most people run this backwards.
They spend their best energy on strangers and leave the warmest threads for last.
GUARDRAILS
- 45 to 60 minutes, blocked in your calendar.
- Closest to cash first, coldest last.
- Three follow-ups, then close the file warmly.
- Re-open in a few weeks, not never.
Ten to thirty reach-outs a day is a guide, never a guarantee or a target you must hit.
My own habit
"I send DMs while watching WWE. Fifteen minutes to write one good message, then copy, paste, change the name."
You are not learning five messages. You are learning to stop needing luck.
When you can start a real conversation on purpose, a quiet month stops being an emergency.
Nobody can take that off you, in any market, on any platform.
DO IT NOW
Send ten messages tonight.
Trigger: the moment you sit down in front of the TV tonight.
Do this:
Open your phone. Start with the ten warmest names, not the coldest. One job per message. Pick the type off the map at the top of this page.
Deadline: before you sleep tomorrow night.
If you get to six and the night is gone, six is fine. Ten is the aim, not the rule.
Post your reply count in the group.
Drop how many you sent and how many came back. That is how we all learn what actually lands.
TAKE THE COACH WITH YOU
The AI DM Coach.
Every script and every rule on this page, packed into one file.
Paste it into ChatGPT or Claude, type START, and it writes the message with you. One question at a time, then a real draft in bubbles.
It never sends anything. You always send it yourself.